How do you make a woman really take notice of you on a first date? Is there anything you can do that will be a surefire way to make you standout from the other guys, and more importantly, is always acceptable to a woman? Absolutely. And they’re really not that hard to master. While simple, these techniques are often neglected, and it could mean the difference between being alone the next weekend or winning her time over from all the other pack of guys.
Don’t Talk Too Much: Mostly Listen
I’ve noticed something about many women in my age group (late 30’s) while dating. They want to be listened to. Passionately. And while this is a universal truth for everyone, many dating women have complained to me that they can’t seem to find it in a man. Perhaps this is the reason they’re still dating around!
A woman wants a man who listens not to just get her into bed, but listens because he is truly interested in getting to know who they are–their likes, dislikes, passions, desires, dreams, or even just what happened in their day. Women need to feel connected emotionally, and being listened to provides that connection.
On your first date, don’t say much about yourself unless asked. And even then keep it short and to the point. Then steer the conversation back to her. For example, if she asks about your hobbies, give her a concise, honest answer, and then ask her something else about herself.
The goal is to make her feel important by keeping the attention mostly on her. Even shy women like to be the center of attention.
Listening more than talking will add another benefit. She’ll be intrigued. Not talking about yourself too much will provide a bit of mystery, which women always like. It will give them a personal mission to keep coming back to find out more about you.
Sidenote: If you get to that date number 2, say something that let’s her know that not only were you listening on the first date, but that you found it important enough to remember!
Clock Her Movements
Studies say that our body language is about 80 percent of the communication. Every movement we make is speaking to her. So watch her closely. If she leans in during the conversation over the dinner table, lean in with her. If she inches her hand closer to yours, do the same. These are all signs she feels comfortable being closer to you, and she’ll be flattered by your body language responses. And believe me, she’s noticing even if it’s only subconsciously. It shows an acceptable form of assertiveness that women are naturally attracted to.
On the flipside, if she pulls back, pull back yourself. Sometimes a woman just isn’t sure what she thinks about you yet, but by responding in like kind you’re respecting her with the space she feels comfortable with at the moment.
Women want to feel relaxed and comfortable, just as you do. And while all women appreciate an assertive man, letting her lead some on the initial date will encourage her to open up more to the possibility for getting closer.
These subtle signals that she’s giving can tell you a lot about how’s she feeling during the course of the date, so pay attention and don’t take anything for granted.
Frequent Eye Contact and Smiling
Always maintain eye contact. Especially when she’s speaking to you. The duration of your eye contact lets her know just how interested you are, and girls are paying attention to this. In fact, it makes you much more attractive. So don’t be afraid to do a little gazing into her eyes.
I’ve had many girls comment on later dates how my constant eye contact made them feel excited for another date. I’ve also had girls comment on my lack of eye contact, which quickly let me know how important it was to them.
There is an exception to this rule, however. And it takes a little intuition. Too much eye staring may cause them to feel uncomfortable. You don’t want to make her feel like you’re stalking her with your eyes. Make your eye contact have meaning in the context of the moment. It’s okay to stare into her eyes while she’s talking, and it’s a must to throw in some smiles along with it. The added smiles will make her feel that you are not just interested in what she has to say, but that you are actually enjoying the moment with her. Woman love this!
While these three methods might seem super simple and obvious, you’d be surprised how often we forget to do them. In the midst of a first date, both of you are thinking about many things. Is he / she attracted to me? Am I attracted to them? What should we talk about next? Will there be more after dinner?
You get the picture. Many men forget these techniques in the midst of everything going on, so consciously make the choice to be aware of all four during the date and you’ll maximize your chances for success.